“Decorum” has the same root as the word “decoration”: the frills and fixtures that make a room a pleasant place to be. In a meeting, decorum is what keeps the discussion polite and respectful. It includes not only what is said but also the way things are said. The order, the subject and the tone […]
You know they are out there. They are like snipers sitting around the table. Ready to open fire with no warning. The moment they think that any rule might possibly have been broken. The price of their vigilance is intimidation. A nitpicker in the group can effectively shut down debate, as people prefer to say […]
“The fights are always vicious when the stakes are really low.” But the big issues fester silently… It is easy to debate the small stuff. Where there is no real money on the line, and no one has anything to lose. This kind of problem plagues nonprofits and other creative organizations. But it is tougher […]
Lights, Camera, Drama! When the Drama Queen starts to speak, it’s a mixture of fear and fascination. It’s a performance. And you are a captive audience. They have you exactly where they want. These people wear their heart on their sleeve, which they use to wipe aware the tears that flow every time they open […]
Problem: These folks have heard it all before. Or maybe not. Either way, they are not interested in listening, much less supporting whatever is being discussed. Cynics radiate negativity that can infect other meeting members and stifle discussion. Nothing is worth it. Nothing will work out. Nothing is ever good enough. That’s because they don’t […]
There’s a popular saying, “Never assume that Loud is strong and Quiet is weak.” Quiet people eschew the spotlight and are often able to view an issue without their ego blocking their view. But it can take extra effort to get the quiet people to come forward and express themselves. Humans by nature prefer consensus, […]
Meetings are magic. Even when facing clear facts, our decisions are ultimately based on myriad emotions, opinions and rationales, the result of shifting conditions and circumstances. For all the discussion in advance–in person or online–you never know what will happen when when the doors close, and everyone comes together face-to-face to make a decision. New […]
There’s a saying, “People prefer simple answers to complex problems, even when they are wrong.” But leaders understand the value of tolerating complexity and ambiguity. Few things in life are fixed…except birth and death. All the rest is dependent on the circumstances around us. Each time we try to control those circumstances or draw a […]
There is an famous Zen saying, “Form is Emptiness and Emptiness is Form.” Everything is changing all the time. Our bodies. Our minds. Our opinions. How do we keep it together? One word: Rules. Rules are designed to bring order to the chaotic communication that happens in any meeting of fragile, fickle humans. They help […]
Half of the art of speaking involves the art of listening. Some people prefer to listen before speaking. And others prefer to speak before listening. The job of the Facilitator is to ensure that Listeners get a chance to speak, and Speakers actually stop to listen. Here’s how: Set time limits for speaking and stick […]