Ego Management 101

The key to successful meetings is managing egos, and the biggest one is often your own…

The world is a messy place and humans are fragile creatures. We like to be in charge, or at least pretend to be. And there is nothing more messy than a bunch of humans are trying to decide something at the meeting.

Whether we like it or not, each of us is driven by an underlying agenda. We have our preferences that we often cannot see. The key to successful meeting is to allow and acknowledge other opinions. Don’t fear conflict. Contain it by shedding light on it. Make it comfortable for people to express opposing views, even if you don’t like it.

This not only includes the people at the meeting, but most importantly the person running the meeting. The discussion and decision doesn’t belong to the leader. It belongs to the entire group. The leader’s job is to help the group reach a decision, not make it for them. Watch out for your own hidden desires and let them go. The outcome will be what it is.

Everyone must put their egos and emotions aside for the greater good. Rules on who speaks when and how do this. Rules are designed to take the emotion and ego out of the equation. Everyone is simply following the rules. Don’t blame the player, blame the game.

The fights are always most vicious when the stakes are low. People are willing to defend their ego to the death, when there is no risk of injury. Don’t assume that “trivial” issues will be easy. Apply the rules equally regardless of the topic.