We can’t wait until it’s over.  All the drama. All the rancor. Even when things seem calm, we still seem to be spending all our time thinking about it. The crown of leadership can weigh so heavy for so long.  We spend so much time putting out fires that we never think about what you are going to do when we finally finish our time in office.

And then it happens. Suddenly. Either we don’t win reelection, or our term is up, or it becomes too much and we simply step down. But what then?  It can be a disorienting feeling.

The ties still bind

There are usually two reactions: avoidance or clinging.  The problem is that even if we try to avoid thinking about our time in office or ignoring the current drama that the organization is embroiled in, we are still hooked in some way.  We spend a lot of time thinking about not thinking about it.  This can leave us feeling anxious or depressed.
Conversely, the drama can be addictive. We might not want to quietly walk away into the sunset. After all, we worked so hard during our time in office, we think we deserve to preserve our legacy and offer your unsolicited advice to the new board. The fear of irrelevancy and the desire to still make an impact can forever chain us to the organization. And the drama that comes with it.
The key is not to fall into either trap.  We shouldn’t totally walk away from the organization, taking all of our knowledge and experience with us. But we should not insert ourselves into the organization so that those coming after us feel like their every move is being watched by an overly protective parent.  We want to transition out of power that can both help the organization and boost our self-esteem.

Find a new place in the organization

Smart organizations create a role for past leaders. Perhaps being involved in the organization in a smaller way, e.g. as a non-voting member of the board, part of an advisory body, fundraising, scholarships, awards or nominations. Somewhere where your experience and skills can best benefit the organization. However, be careful. Being relegated to an irrelevant, ad-hoc committee created just for you can actually be more dispiriting than having no role at all. Being able to connect with the larger membership of the organization or foster new leaders is a great way to use the knowledge and experience you have in a beneficial way for the organization.

By adopting a new, less intense role in the organization, you can learn to relax and still be engaged. It also gives you the time you need to consider what you want to do next.

Make a plan before you leave

Find something that will occupy your time after your time as leader comes to an end.  It doesn’t have to be as all-encompassing as that of a leader, but it should be enough to take your mind off your previous role and give you the ability to focus on something else. To give you a sense of moving forward and growing professionally or personally. For example, working with another organization, adopting a new hobby, or pursuing new educational opportunities.
Be careful not to get too involved in the other activity while you are still with your current organization. But take some time while you are in office to consider what’s next and what that might involve. Are there any skills or any particular experience that you need? When you step down from your current organization, you will already be well prepared to pursue the next big thing.

Look inward before heading outward

Sometimes we aren’t able to find a new role in the organization or a new calling. Like it or not, leaving an organization can be like leaving a marriage or a job, and can create an empty feeling in us. We start to reflect on what we did or didn’t do in office, and we can easily start to doubt ourselves and the entire experience. Doubt, anger or anxiety can be a natural part of the grieving process as you leave the organization. It’s important to feel those feelings and recognize them—but not react to them. Doling out unsolicited advice to the board or trying to settle old scores is only going to prolong the pain and potentially damage the organization and your reputation. 
It can be difficult at times, but keeping quiet for a while can help us process these emotions and brings us to a better place to navigate a path forward. Make a commitment to yourself to hold back and hold your tongue for a few months. Don’t make any major plans either if it feels like you are doing it out of fear or boredom. Be patient with yourself. When you are calm and relaxed, new ideas and opportunities will arise that you hadn’t considered before. And it will be easier to say “Yes” to the next adventure.

Happy travels!